Having a random hookup so left but love u
smell my finger.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize