Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize