This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
