Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
