put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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