My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How external is "for external use only"?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
