There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
