My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
