My brain says no but my pants say off.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need to sanitize my soul.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
