i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
