this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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