Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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