It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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