She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
