With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
