HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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