I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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