I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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