I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well you can't waste a boner
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize