Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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