sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize