Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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