Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
