Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
