So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize