She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
