is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
