Don't make out with my wife yet
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
