the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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