I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
