I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize