Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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