Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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