careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You are a genius and a whore.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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