Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
