I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize