Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This toilet bowl is my home.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
