Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
