OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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