WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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