How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize