I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
