I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
