Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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