Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
