please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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