Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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