I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
