TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
