you didnt know i had herpes?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
