tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
