I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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