dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
