I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
