Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
