All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
