You're my little dorito
I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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