i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
