Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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