Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We don't watch enough power rangers
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
