I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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