i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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