i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
