nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Still dying that you shit outside
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
