if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
one two three fourrrrnication!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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