when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
