were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
