Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
