I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
