I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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