I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
