Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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