we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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