R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
