It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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