He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
