Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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