1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i will never coherently bang her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize