I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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