is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
