I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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