shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
