but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
