When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
