He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
