can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
