I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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